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Slivers and Snippets: Tonight At Work

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Tonight At Work

I live in Medium City. Nearby there is Big City. I have lived in Medium City for darn near 10 years. OBVIOUSLY, I know how to get from my city to the Big City.

Tonight I waited on a grumpy, mean old man. He was there with a young, hot, very booby-full young lady*. I felt pretty confident through the meal that she was actually his daughter, and insisted to the other servers that she was not, in fact, a prostitute. Although now that I HATE him, I'm more inclined to think that she was his hooker, because I can't possibly fathom why anyone would spend time with him if they weren't being paid to do so.

He was rude to me throughout their entire meal, but the worst thing happened just as they were preparing to leave.

Lady: "Excuse me, JR, can I ask you a question?"

JR: "Of course."

Grumpy: "Don't ask her."

Lady: (To Grumpy) "I want a second opinion!" (To me) "What's the best way to get to Big City from here?"

JR: (opens mouth to answer) "W-..."

Grumpy: "I already told you! Don't ask her, she doesn't know anything!"

I just turned and walked away. Dude had already paid (and tipped FOR SHIT), clearly he needed nothing else from me.


Most nights, as much as I bitch about it, I actually love my job. Dealing with different people everyday keeps things interesting. And let's face it, I make more working 25 hours a week then I ever did working 40+ hours at a "real" job. Plus, I get to work with people I adore, and did I mention I only work 25 hours a week? Seriously,I got a really good thing going here. But man, it's nights like tonight that I HATE EVERYBODY AND WANT TO POUR COFFEE ON THEIR LAPS.

I "don't know anything"... I'll tell you what I DO know, I know that guy was lucky I do like my job, or I would have told him a thing or two. Actually, on that note, I would like to point out how awesome the owner of the restaurant (and my friend) is - when I told him what had happened he actually got up and said, "Where? What guy? Are they still here?" They weren't, but he really would have gone over there and said something. He's done it for me before. And you know why? Cause he's awesome. Like ten million hot dogs**.

Right after the restaurant first opened (I've been there since day one; I'm resistant to change) I had a table of "ladies who lunch" that were upset by how much their mimosa's cost. Even after the manager went over and talked to them about it, they still seemed to blame me. When they left without leaving any tip AT ALL, I bitched and moaned, like I do, 'cause I'm JR, that's how I roll. The owner overheard me, and pointed out that the ladies hadn't left yet, they were in the bathroom. He then went and stood by the front door waiting for them. When they came out and went to leave he did this:

"Ladies, how was everything today?"

"Oh, it was great, everything was excellent!" (People love talking to the owner.)

"And how was your service today?"

"It was excellent as well!"

"Oh really? Because you didn't tip your server at all. So I was just wondering what that was all about."

They were so flustered, it was hysterical. And in the almost five years I've been there, I've never once seen any of them return. And I've never doubted my boss' devotion to his staff. Even if he does drive me crazy telling me where my own food goes***.

*I realize I am playing it kinda fast and loose with the term "lady."

**If you don't know what that is from (JACK SHUT UP) then I can't be your friend anymore.

***Boss' wife, if you happen to read this, show that to him. He will crack up, as the "telling me about my own tables" has been a recent joke between us. And I am sorry that I just called you "boss' wife," but I am trying to keep the establishment anon, since I just bitched about a guest.


At 12:04 AM, Anonymous Jack said...

I'm just gonna give our contestants playing at home a small hint. The answer is not 5 million cow asses and 5 million cow lips. Just didn't want anyone going down that road.

Er... trail...er....ho tai duck trail. With cows...and batmen running away...nevermind

At 9:51 AM, Anonymous Whinger said...

I can't BELIEVE they didn't tip based on the cost of something. If it's too much, DON'T ORDER IT.

Did they tip after that?

At 12:10 PM, Blogger JayAre said...

Jack - You crazy, fool. Yo.

Whinger - No, they did this sort of flustered, look at each other, "I thought you left something..." "No, I thought you..." And then they walked out the door. LOL I didn't even care though, I just though it was so funny by that point. Stupid people.


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