Puppies and Headaches

Earlier this morning:

I sleep soundly.

{Feeling a cold nose on my arm}

"Oh, hello Sammie! Is it time to get up? Ooookkkkaaay..... {insert old lady grunting here as I sit up} Well, you sure were a good girl this morning. I can't believe you let me sleep so late! What a sweet puppy... I love you... {insert lots of petting here} Okay you good girl, lets go outside... {old lady grunting as I stand up} Alright, let's go... Wait, what's that? Is that...? MY iPOD?!?!?! WHY IS MY iPOD ON THE FLOOR, DOG?!?!?!?! AND WHERE IS IT'S CUTE PINK CASE?!?!?!?! Ohmygodmypooripod... Oh, here's the case, under the bed... Where are the headphone? Oh, by the nightstand! Jesus, Sammie, you chewed through them! Good lord. I can't believe you tricked me into thinking you were good. I will never trust you again."

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It does look like the iPod will still work, but the headphones are a lost cause.

Last week she chewed through the window unit A/C* cord while it was running, and somehow managed to not die. And now I am hot when I sleep. Crazy dog.

Oh, and let's not even talk about the quail bones she dug out of the trash while I was vacuuming. Or the unbelievable stress that caused me while I was at work that night, certain that she was home coughing up leg bones and pooping out wings.

I don't know why people say puppies are a lot of work. They're totally low maintenance.


*We do have central A/C, but having the window unit in the bedroom saves energy since we both like it really cold when we sleep.

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Have ya'll seen the "Head On" commercial? I don't know if it's just local or not. It's for some kind of medicine that you rub on your head. The whole commercial is a picture of someone rubbing it on, and a woman saying, "Head On. Apply directly to the forehead. Head on. Apply directly to the forehead. Head on. Apply directly to the forehead."

I do not appreciate her tone.

Every time I see it I want to smash the giant TV into tiny little pieces and then call the makers of Head On (apply directly to the forehead) and tell them that I am going to hunt them down and apply my foot directly to their asses.