Chocolate Cake With Raspberry Sauce. And A Little Wild Game Demi-Glace.

"I'd like to buy a bottle of this {cheap} champagne for that table over there."

"Great. I'll take it over to them."

"Make sure it's cold. And put it in a bucket with ice."

Really? REALLY?!?! Champagne in a champagne bucket WITH ICE? Now that is just crazy talk. I would never have thought to do such a thing on my own, thank god I have guests like you to teach me the ways of my job.

"Will you box up my leftover chocolate cake?"

"Yes sir. I'll take it to the back and do that."

"Wait! Don't put it in the same box as my sausage and venison! Put it in a separate, smaller box."

Really? REALLY!?!?! REALLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYY!?!?!? My god. You mean to tell me that people don't want their chocolate cake in the same box with their meat? You mean to say that when I put dessert in a box with entrees, and then shake it up real good so that the demi-glace gets all over everything, and make sure the dessert is shoved down good and firm in the jalapeno mashed potatoes, that people don't like that? Man. I must suck at my job. What would I do without you?

No, please, no need for a tip. I've just enjoyed learning so much from you.