This post is all about butts and bodily functions.

"You can look at my butt cheeks, just not my butt crack!"

"Ok, fine, fine, butt cheek, butt cheek, no crack. Just one big butt cheek."

Silence.

"One SMALL buttcheek! Small!"

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This is where it gets gross, because we are gross people.

First of all, you should know that Mark and I talked A LOT about farts and poop. That's just how we roll.

Secondly, you need to know about our special occasions. We always have names for birthday weekends and anniversaries, etc. And we tend to reuse the same phrase because it makes us laugh. I don't know why.

So, from Friday night through Tuesday night, we called our weekend the Anniversary Weekend Extravaganza Blowout. And here's how you pronounce it: Happy Anniversary Weekend EXTRAAAVAGAAAAAAAAAANZA blowout. The blowout is always said small, like an afterthought.

Thirdly, you need to remember that we talk about farts and poop a lot.

With that knowledge in your heads, I give you the following conversation. It took place at a small German restaurant on Sunday night in Fredericksburg.

Mark was having Jagar Schnitzel, which is fried pork and mushrooms. HEAVEN.

JR: Can I have another bite? Yummmmm... You know, mushrooms give me the farts.

Mark: JR, that's why we call it a blowout.

JR: Well sure, except I haven't pooped today.

Mark: Me neither. And JR, that's why we call it an EXTRAAAVAGAAAAAAAAANZA.


Maybe you had to be there. But I swear, Jagar Schnitzel almost came out my nose.