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Slivers and Snippets: Conversations with my bro, yo - part 12,546

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Conversations with my bro, yo - part 12,546

Are all siblings as ridiculous when talking to each other as me and my brother are? I mean, what is it about talking to a sibling that makes it okay to be totally stupid?

I realize this is a lame conversation. But I think the end makes it worth it. OCCASIONALLY, my brother can be funny. Don't tell him I said that.

Is it weird that all of our conversations are via the internet?


Boy
Hello

JR
hi
I am sick.

Boy
Why are you sick?

JR
Because I don't eat right. Or some bullshit like that. I have a cold.
But I feel like I am dying.

Boy
You are not dying.

JR
I could be dying! You don't know me!

Boy
People don't die from colds. This is the future.

JR
Ah, but I have super duper cold derived from beer and watching One Dumb Horror Movie and One Good Horror Movie in the same week.

Boy
Ooooh... Those are rough. The only cure for that is Lord of the Rings. Or Eddie Izzard.

JR
Maybe some Eddie.

JR
DO NOT GO SEE PULSE.

Boy
Never heard of it.

JR
DO go see The Descent.

Boy
Never heard of that either. {he proceeded to check out the website}

JR
Really? It's a gore fest.

Boy
I think I would like it as a video game.
I don't like watching monsters that I can't kill.

JR
Oh. Well don't go see it then.
I mostly only like horror movies. And ghost movies, they don't make enough ghost movies.

Boy
You should play Doom 3. It has the same feel as that movie. Only you can shoot the monsters.

JR
I don't play video games though.

Boy
It makes you feel like a big man.

JR
Ah, penis games.
What kind of fast food is good if you are sick?

Boy
Taco Bell.
its the least poisonous.

JR
Did mom tell you about the Alton Brown thing in Hawthorne?

Boy
Yeah.
Remember my friend Ron who drove you to Disneyland?

JR
Hm. I never get taco bell anymore. Probably been years since I was there.
Yes.

Boy
He just got Jason Stratham to star in the movie he wrote.

JR
Who is that?

Boy
Jason Statham. The guy in Crank.

JR
Oh. The man's man.

Boy
Yeah.
He was also in the Transporter movies.
And other stuff with yelling and guns

JR
That's the movie where he's gonna die that day and he kills a bunch of people first and makes out with the girl from Felicity, right?

Boy
Yeah.

JR
the puppy is staring at me with sad eyes.
Sad pink eyes.

Boy
Pull the pink out of her eyes?
How come your dog is always sick?
And your cats are always fat?
And your fish are always dead?

JR
Because that is just how we roll.
MY FISH ARE NOT DEAD.
I have had the same fish for a long time now.

Boy
Dude. You've killed more fish than most hammerhead sharks.

JR
Not true.

Boy
Yes true. I have a shark right here and he thinks you're crazy.

JR
Whatever. Like having a shark there doesn't make you crazy.

Boy
Look, what I do with my bathtub in my spare time is none of your business. The point is, I make a lot of money and it keeps the whalers happy.

9 Comments:

At 1:12 PM, Blogger hamster_grrl said...

speaking of bathtubs and spare time, what happened to that amazing growing octopus or whatever it was that you were growing in that big bowl of water when I was visiting last month?

 
At 2:37 PM, Blogger JayAre said...

Dude, it got SO BIG. I had to take it out of the bowl, and then it shrunk to be teeny-tiny. I took pictures, but since blogger won't let me post pictures EVER, I can't really do a post about it.

 
At 9:25 PM, Anonymous Chrissy said...

You had an OCTOPUS??!! How did I not hear about this? And you need to figure out what's up with this pictures thing, because I still want a lakhouse post!!! (That was suppose to be in a firm but sweet tone)

 
At 9:33 AM, Blogger Steve-O said...

So the take home message from this is that even octopi experience shrinkage. Way to go Mother Nature. You really are a spiteful witch.

 
At 9:45 AM, Blogger Jack said...

I thought we'd fixed the photo issue. Now what is it doing.
I'm starting to think its a user error issue, cause I haven't had a problem posting pictures.

 
At 1:37 PM, Blogger JayAre said...

Chrissy - I tried to tell you about it but you didn't want to hear because it's an Indianapolis story.

Steve - She is indeed.

Jack - It's not user error, jackass... I'm doing it the same way I always have, and I can point you to several other bloggers that have the same problem. Perhaps it has something to do with the size of your blog, since I didn't have any trouble inthe beginning, either. It doesn't matter really, I'm working on switching hosts right now.

 
At 6:48 PM, Blogger Jack said...

[puts forefinger and thumb in "U" shape on forehead]

Whatever...user.

 
At 7:16 AM, Blogger Jerry said...

Why are we talking about shrinkage and the size of Jack's blog?

And why is it when I read Jack's comment it sounded like me talking?

;;
J

 
At 4:49 PM, Blogger JayAre said...

Jack - Stop pissing me off. I am so kicking your ass next time I see you.

Dad - LOL Sucks to be you! ;-)

 

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