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Slivers and Snippets: I Heart Broccoli

Thursday, August 17, 2006

I Heart Broccoli

Last night we were all sitting around at work waiting for our tips, looking through the paper and chatting. We're doing this big fundraiser thing all week and we're a million times more busy than we normally are in August, so we're all tip pooling the whole week. Which means everybody waits for everyone else to be done before we get paid.

We were bored, some of us may or may not have been grumpy, and we were all delirious from exhaustion. This week has already beat us down and it's not even half over.

There were 6 people involved in this conversation, so I think listing who said what would just make things more confusing.

"Why is it taking so long for him to get our money?"

"He's probably in the bathroom again."

"Oh my god, he's in there so much! It takes him five hours everytime and he goes four times a day!"

"That can't be normal. There's gotta be something wrong in his colon."


"Maybe it's normal for guys. Let's ask Patrick."

{Patrick looks up from the paper} "Huh? What?"

"DO NOT ask Patrick! How embarrassing! Plus, that's like, sexual harassment."

"It's not sexual, it's like... poop harassment."


"Nevermind, Patrick."

"You guys want to know what the seniors are eating this week?"*

"What do you mean?"

"Meals on Wheels. They publish their weekly menu here in the food section. Let's see... Oh, Thursday looks like crap."

"What they got?"

"Turkey ham... whatever that means. Salad, seasoned cauliflower, and for dessert, orange slices."

"That's disgusting."

"I wonder what it's seasoned with?"

"Oh, Tuesday looks good. Salisbury steak, salad, broccoli, and a choice of a chocolate chip cookie OR graham crackers!"

"Man, that's crap. They should give them a cookie one day and graham crackers the other day instead of stupid orange slices."

"For real."

"Dude, they get broccoli or cauliflower EVERY DAY."

"It's good for you. Cleanses your colon."


*That was me bringing up the Senior Menu. You can imagine how fascinating it must be to be my friend. I bring such riveting conversation to the table.


At 2:31 PM, Blogger Steve-O said...

Do you bring such conversations to the table on wheels? And do you publish your topics in the newspaper ahead of time? I mean, if that's how you roll, those of us who don't always get to hang out with you would like to know which days are the 'salisbury steak days' of conversation.

At 1:01 PM, Blogger JayAre said...

I do bring them on wheels, because that's how I roll. And I would say I'm salsibury steak 90% of the time... Okay, 10%.

At 2:21 PM, Anonymous Chrissy said...

salibury steak....ewwwwww. Poor seniors and their over-worked colons.

At 2:55 PM, Blogger JayAre said...

Dude, salisbury steak ROCKS.


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